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Another Russian Give Away!!
After yet another marketing drive for yet another red, white, and blue fountain pen called The Benjamin Franklin Christopher Robin All-American Freedom! Or some such other load of old crap that just doesn’t exist under the current fascist regime, we have an alternative pen that tells it like it is… and what’s even better, in true #45 style, it’s an alternative pen, i.e., it’s a lie, it doesn’t actually exist.
You can only get it in an F for Failure of Humanity, Fake Gold, or Fascist nib size. It won’t write anything but outright lies, and comes with a free bottle of ink, based on a color that the current regime knows only too well.
And I love the clip—modeled after the kind of man that likes a stupidly long tie, to cover all those embarrassingly stretched shirt buttons. Or maybe to tie-up the next victim of sexual harassment? You be the judge… because he owns the US Supreme Court.
But I’d be careful of that clip if I were you! If you tuck that pen in your pants, you never know what it might grab. Be like a true All-American Hero, and take no chances.
The clip band is tastefully inscribed in Concentration Camp Blood Red to match the free ink, and the border-crossing death toll the US Republican Party refuses to acknowledge; and reads Fascist 2016-2020. Let’s all hope that’s only as long as it lasts.
To earn the name The Death of Democracy, the Russian government has pledged to give away as many of these pens as it takes to buy another fake victory for the current incumbent of the White House. The GOP have also promised to handout one of these pens each, to the first 2 million people who turn up at their local Immigration and Customs Enforcement office, whether you’re a US citizen or not. Good luck with that.
Wonder Woman and Superman had better stay at home, rumor has it that they could be immigrants.